For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
