Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
