Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
