so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
