It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
