the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
