Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize