So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
