handjob tips. give me some.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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