Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Randomize
