Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize