Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
