Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
