So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
