After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
