evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
