arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
