Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He? As in you personified your dick?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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