i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
