i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm like, not good at living.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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