She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Everything about him screamed your future.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
