The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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