so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
