I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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