I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
