tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize