wakey wakey hands off snakey
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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