exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
