I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
too bad you live with your parents still
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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