Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
