so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
