she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
