apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
