Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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