But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
