We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
