If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
