O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
