My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am spending my child support on dildos
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
