Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
