i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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