these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
