he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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