let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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