stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
