I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
