Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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