I cockslap morals
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize