i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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