There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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