i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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