I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
