i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
