I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Semen is not good for contacts.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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