I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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