I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize