I think i peed on brittanys purse
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
