hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
