Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
