I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
