Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
BRING THE BAGELS
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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