I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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