What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
