North Korea, Best Korea!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
