There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
